If you care about someone, you need to let them know. If you are thinking about someone, you need to let them know. If you feel a certain way about someone, you need to let them know.
I have given myself 100% to only one man in my entire adult life and he didn't deserve it. I hadn't found one man since that I feel deserves all of me. One guy has come close and another I want to, but neither deserve it...hell, they may not want it at all, I don't know.
Relationships, for me anyway, are so complicated for no reason. I am a very honest person and when I feel a certain way about someone, 9 times out of 10, I'm going to let them know. Unfortunately, I don't get the same respect and hadn't since my very first relationship. I have loved but have never felt it in return. Kinda depressing when you think about it. I attract LIARS. I attract MARRIED MEN. I attract THUGS. And to have all three in one man? Pure hell.
My honesty, I have come to find out, can be intimidating for a lot of men. But you know what? That won't change. I have a hard time biting my tongue when it comes to my feelings. A lot of people call it being emotional. I call it being passionate. The man I choose will be a strong man who is in tune with his masculinity but also his softer side. The man I choose will be confident in who he is because I can be what some men have called a "tough cookie." A man who can handle my sarcasm, my wit, my comebacks, and my strong vibe? That will be the one for me. A man who can be honest and truthful, a man who wants me for me and not just what he wants to gain from me, a man who has nothing to hide, a man who can give love just as much as he can receive it? That will be the one.
While I may be 'damaged goods' according to some people due to my past, I will say this. I have a lot of love in my heart. It's unfortunate that no man has really recognized it and even if they have, they don't care enough to want to truly experience the power within it. I personally feel that I am a diamond in the rough. I have had a ton of heartbreaking experiences from child abuse, domestic violence, and constant disregard of my feelings and emotions. However, it hasn't stifled my thoughts on love and I still believe in love. I just need to stop wasting my time and energy on the assholes who are only out to hurt me and get one thing from me. I need to stop trying to build a relationship with men who are physically or emotionally unavailable (at least unavailable to me).
I am single. Because I am single, I can do what the hell I want to do and not have to answer to anyone and I find it quite hilarious when a guy I'm dealing with tries to act possessive and jealous when it comes to me doing "my own thing" yet he doesn't want to make me his. Like I'm supposed to sit around and cater to his feelings while he does what he wants and doesn't have to answer to me. I effin' hate double standards (but that might be a topic for a later post). I think in a way, they know that I'm quality and somehow don't want to let me go even though they don't think I'm good enough to be in a quality relationship with. Not sure what they think.
With all of this randomness being typed out, I'll say that if a guy wants to be with me, he has to show me. Words don't mean shit to me anymore. Hadn't for years. People twist words and do what they want with them to fit them the way they want. Words without actions are null and void to me. That's why I say SHOW ME. Don't tell me. Show me. "I love you." "I heart you." "I care about you." "I like you." Those phrases mean nothing unless you're showing me that you love me, heart me, care about me, or like me. So if you're not willing to show me, don't waste my effin' time. I don't want a part-time man. Be full-time or you get no time.
I have given myself 100% to only one man in my entire adult life and he didn't deserve it. I hadn't found one man since that I feel deserves all of me. One guy has come close and another I want to, but neither deserve it...hell, they may not want it at all, I don't know.
Relationships, for me anyway, are so complicated for no reason. I am a very honest person and when I feel a certain way about someone, 9 times out of 10, I'm going to let them know. Unfortunately, I don't get the same respect and hadn't since my very first relationship. I have loved but have never felt it in return. Kinda depressing when you think about it. I attract LIARS. I attract MARRIED MEN. I attract THUGS. And to have all three in one man? Pure hell.
My honesty, I have come to find out, can be intimidating for a lot of men. But you know what? That won't change. I have a hard time biting my tongue when it comes to my feelings. A lot of people call it being emotional. I call it being passionate. The man I choose will be a strong man who is in tune with his masculinity but also his softer side. The man I choose will be confident in who he is because I can be what some men have called a "tough cookie." A man who can handle my sarcasm, my wit, my comebacks, and my strong vibe? That will be the one for me. A man who can be honest and truthful, a man who wants me for me and not just what he wants to gain from me, a man who has nothing to hide, a man who can give love just as much as he can receive it? That will be the one.
While I may be 'damaged goods' according to some people due to my past, I will say this. I have a lot of love in my heart. It's unfortunate that no man has really recognized it and even if they have, they don't care enough to want to truly experience the power within it. I personally feel that I am a diamond in the rough. I have had a ton of heartbreaking experiences from child abuse, domestic violence, and constant disregard of my feelings and emotions. However, it hasn't stifled my thoughts on love and I still believe in love. I just need to stop wasting my time and energy on the assholes who are only out to hurt me and get one thing from me. I need to stop trying to build a relationship with men who are physically or emotionally unavailable (at least unavailable to me).
I am single. Because I am single, I can do what the hell I want to do and not have to answer to anyone and I find it quite hilarious when a guy I'm dealing with tries to act possessive and jealous when it comes to me doing "my own thing" yet he doesn't want to make me his. Like I'm supposed to sit around and cater to his feelings while he does what he wants and doesn't have to answer to me. I effin' hate double standards (but that might be a topic for a later post). I think in a way, they know that I'm quality and somehow don't want to let me go even though they don't think I'm good enough to be in a quality relationship with. Not sure what they think.
With all of this randomness being typed out, I'll say that if a guy wants to be with me, he has to show me. Words don't mean shit to me anymore. Hadn't for years. People twist words and do what they want with them to fit them the way they want. Words without actions are null and void to me. That's why I say SHOW ME. Don't tell me. Show me. "I love you." "I heart you." "I care about you." "I like you." Those phrases mean nothing unless you're showing me that you love me, heart me, care about me, or like me. So if you're not willing to show me, don't waste my effin' time. I don't want a part-time man. Be full-time or you get no time.
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