Before you read this, know that there are spoilers to the movie "Temptation" if you hadn't seen it. So with that being said, you've been warned!
I just finished watching this movie and I will say, Tyler Perry has done it again! You can say what you want about him but he is successful because he creates characters and situations that anyone can relate to, particularly African-American people. This movie was so good to me because it brought me to a place I used to be and showed me the person I once was.
This movie reminds me of a temptation that I experienced in 2006. I was with my first boyfriend for 5 years. Good guy that I barely argued with. We had a ton of mutual friends and my family loved him. His family loved me. Things were great.
On the outside.
On the inside, I didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. He didn't excite me. I felt the relationship was boring and monotonous. I started wondering what it would be like with someone else. Inexperienced, naive, and bored, I left the door open for someone else to walk in. I found that someone. Attractive and tall, I instantly lusted for this man. To my surprise, he lusted for me, too. A love affair began and I felt so badly about it. My guilty conscience tore at me but I couldn't stop. This man told me things that fed into my vulnerability. This man gave me that excitement that I was missing from my boyfriend. I got things from him sexually that I wasn't getting from my relationship. I was enamored. I was hooked. I was addicted. And I didn't want to let him go for my boyfriend's sake. So I broke up with him to start a relationship with this new man.
What I didn't know (or knew but ignored the signs) was he was fresh out of a 6-7 year stint in prison. He was married. His wife was pregnant. He was temperamental. And he was abusive. He was conniving and offered nothing other than his sexual skills in bed. He was an irrationally emotional person. He didn't like the fact that I was family oriented and that I had lots of friends, most whom were male. He thought because of that, I didn't love HIM the way I claimed I did. He tried to isolate me from everyone, stating that he was the only somebody I needed. He was very up and down. When things were good, they were great. When things were bad, they were terrifying horrible. Being with him made me miss my ex-boyfriend's kindness and patience.
After our daughter was born, I decided to give up on our relationship. I didn't want to go back to my ex-boyfriend but it did open my eyes to a lot of things. My selfishness. My naivete. Being unappreciative. But most importantly, my lack of real communication. If I wasn't happy, I should have expressed it in a way that either salvaged our relationship or at least ended as friends that just grew apart romantically.
I left a man that might have been boring and "safe" but he treated me well. I didn't see that at that time because he was all I knew and I didn't appreciate him the way I should have. Would we have stayed together if my child's father never entered the picture? There is truly no telling. The person I am now, I would say no, but then again, the person I am now wouldn't be that person if it wasn't for THAT experience.
He never raised his hand to me. He bought me things to let me know I was on his mind. He wrote me letters. I met his family. We laughed together. My friends and family loved him. He never made me feel that I couldn't be myself. He never berated me for being myself. He never belittled me and made me feel that I had to tiptoe around him. Completely the opposite of what I left him for.
My point is, the grass isn't always greener. I learned that the hard way. We allow ourselves to be unhappy because in some way, we're always searching for something better instead of just appreciating what we already have. Chances are, what we are looking for, we already have in our possession. We allow the "what ifs" in life to consume us and make us make rash decisions to appease the part that we feel is lacking in our lives.
We could say, "If I could go back, I would change *insert situation*" but if we did, would we be where we are? Would we be able to problem solve and make better choices? In my situation, if I could go back and change being with my child's father, then I wouldn't have my child and I can't even begin imagining what life would be like without her in it.
Please go see "Temptation." It is definitely worth the money. If you're in a relationship, I truly believe that after watching this movie, it will make you appreciate the one you're with.
"Temptation" by Constance Gilmore
I just finished watching this movie and I will say, Tyler Perry has done it again! You can say what you want about him but he is successful because he creates characters and situations that anyone can relate to, particularly African-American people. This movie was so good to me because it brought me to a place I used to be and showed me the person I once was.
***SPOILER ALERT***
"Temptation" is a movie about a woman, Judith, who grew up in the country and fell in love with her childhood sweetheart. She grew up in the church and believed in no sex before marriage. She moved away to the city with her new husband and things were good. He had work at a pharmacy, she worked as a relationship therapist. She meets a wealthy young man (a businessman that is trying to incorporate online dating with his successful social media website) who shows her things and makes her feel things she's never experienced before. She starts to realize how boring her life is and feels that her husband is taking her for granted. She delves deeper into this belief which results in her cheating on her husband. She feels guilty but eventually can't ignore her desires for the businessman, who has an intensity that she feels she doesn't get from her husband. With the businessman's encouragement, she leaves her husband for him. It also helps that he has the money to help her build her own practice, which she so desperately wants. Her husband ends up finding out and asks her to come home. She coldly tells him that she has everything she needs from the businessman. She later goes back to her home with the businessman to retrieve her laptop to find her mother praying with a prayer group. The mother desperately tries to keep the daughter there and in her attempt to do so, the businessman pushes her down. He forces Judith to go with him as she tries to check on her mother, which angers her. She lets him know exactly how he feels, which angers him to a boiling point and results in him beating her up. The husband goes to fight for his wife and finds her in the bathtub, bruised. He ends up fighting the businessman. Judith finds out that she has HIV. This movie reminds me of a temptation that I experienced in 2006. I was with my first boyfriend for 5 years. Good guy that I barely argued with. We had a ton of mutual friends and my family loved him. His family loved me. Things were great.
On the outside.
On the inside, I didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. He didn't excite me. I felt the relationship was boring and monotonous. I started wondering what it would be like with someone else. Inexperienced, naive, and bored, I left the door open for someone else to walk in. I found that someone. Attractive and tall, I instantly lusted for this man. To my surprise, he lusted for me, too. A love affair began and I felt so badly about it. My guilty conscience tore at me but I couldn't stop. This man told me things that fed into my vulnerability. This man gave me that excitement that I was missing from my boyfriend. I got things from him sexually that I wasn't getting from my relationship. I was enamored. I was hooked. I was addicted. And I didn't want to let him go for my boyfriend's sake. So I broke up with him to start a relationship with this new man.
What I didn't know (or knew but ignored the signs) was he was fresh out of a 6-7 year stint in prison. He was married. His wife was pregnant. He was temperamental. And he was abusive. He was conniving and offered nothing other than his sexual skills in bed. He was an irrationally emotional person. He didn't like the fact that I was family oriented and that I had lots of friends, most whom were male. He thought because of that, I didn't love HIM the way I claimed I did. He tried to isolate me from everyone, stating that he was the only somebody I needed. He was very up and down. When things were good, they were great. When things were bad, they were terrifying horrible. Being with him made me miss my ex-boyfriend's kindness and patience.
After our daughter was born, I decided to give up on our relationship. I didn't want to go back to my ex-boyfriend but it did open my eyes to a lot of things. My selfishness. My naivete. Being unappreciative. But most importantly, my lack of real communication. If I wasn't happy, I should have expressed it in a way that either salvaged our relationship or at least ended as friends that just grew apart romantically.
I left a man that might have been boring and "safe" but he treated me well. I didn't see that at that time because he was all I knew and I didn't appreciate him the way I should have. Would we have stayed together if my child's father never entered the picture? There is truly no telling. The person I am now, I would say no, but then again, the person I am now wouldn't be that person if it wasn't for THAT experience.
He never raised his hand to me. He bought me things to let me know I was on his mind. He wrote me letters. I met his family. We laughed together. My friends and family loved him. He never made me feel that I couldn't be myself. He never berated me for being myself. He never belittled me and made me feel that I had to tiptoe around him. Completely the opposite of what I left him for.
My point is, the grass isn't always greener. I learned that the hard way. We allow ourselves to be unhappy because in some way, we're always searching for something better instead of just appreciating what we already have. Chances are, what we are looking for, we already have in our possession. We allow the "what ifs" in life to consume us and make us make rash decisions to appease the part that we feel is lacking in our lives.
We could say, "If I could go back, I would change *insert situation*" but if we did, would we be where we are? Would we be able to problem solve and make better choices? In my situation, if I could go back and change being with my child's father, then I wouldn't have my child and I can't even begin imagining what life would be like without her in it.
Please go see "Temptation." It is definitely worth the money. If you're in a relationship, I truly believe that after watching this movie, it will make you appreciate the one you're with.
"Temptation" by Constance Gilmore
