Once upon a time, I dated this guy. Handsome fella, stood at 6'1". Goofy little smile. Nicely built. I really liked him. As time went on, I fell for him. I would do anything to put a smile on his face. I'd cook for him (and people who know me know that cooking is NOT my thing). After I'd cook, I would fix him a plate, a glass of something to drink, get a napkin, and bring it to him. I'd massage him, usually a full body one. I took him on a shopping spree for his birthday. I'd write poetry for him. I washed his hair. I combed his hair. I'd buy him cards, candy, and flowers--not on just Valentine's Day--just because I was thinking of him. I'd send him emails and texts throughout the day just to let him know he was on my mind. When he was sick, I catered to him and did all that I could to make him feel comfortable during his sickness and to help him get better. I did for him because not only did it make him happy, but it made me happy to see him smile. I basically spoiled him. I'm a pleaser and it pleases me to make the man I love pleased.
I hope one day, a man does that for me.
I had a guy do a lot for me once but because we were in college, we had a very limited budget. I was very grateful and happy that he did what he did for me. Unfortunately, he is the ONLY guy who has made me feel special.
Post-college? As an adult in the real world? I have never had a man cater to me, wine and dine me, or make me feel that I was the queen of his world. I have never felt special or even important to a man. At times, I look at my life and feel that maybe, just maybe, I will end up alone and eventually lonely. Sometimes, I feel that somehow, I'm not good enough for a man to want to shower his love and appreciation on me. That's only when I feel those pangs of loneliness. I KNOW I'm good enough, just hadn't found a man that knows that as well.
I look at my friends and some of my family and wonder...how is it so easy for them to find love? What is it about them that makes a man want to be with them? Propose to them? Marry them and want to spend the rest of his life with them?
I think I have really great qualities. I am extremely loyal, dedicated, passionate, caring, smart, and funny. I have a great personality. I am empathetic. I am a great mother. I am educated, motivated, and I have a huge heart. I am very loving. No, I'm not the best looking thing roaming the Earth but I am far from ugly. I've embraced things that I used to be self-conscious about. Yes, I have a big nose. Yes, my eyes are big...but they are bright and people can't stare at them too long because they feel that I am looking through them. And I might just be. ***insert evil laugh*** I have big lips. I never wear makeup. I dress for comfort, not for the runway. I am 5'9" and very...."curvy." Could I lose some weight? Certainly! But I'm still at a point in my life that my weight is something I can deal with and I'm fairly content with it.
With all that being said, I wonder...what is it that guys aren't seeing? They see the physical, they like it, we talk, they like it, they think I'm a quality woman....and that's it. No one wants to take it to the next level. Why is that? The world may never know.
All I have to say (yeah right) is that the man who chooses to be with me will be one lucky ass man. He will have gained a woman that believes in love despite of never having it. He will have gained a faithful woman that believes in catering to a man (with obvious boundaries, I'm no one's slave). He will have gained a life partner, someone that believes in roughing it out through thick and thin.
One day, my king will come. I just have to get rid of the wolves in sheep's clothing and the frogs hopping around as princes first. Until then, I'll just continue loving myself and my daughter and keeping my "happily ever after" potion bottled up hidden in the depths of my closet until the right guy comes along.
I hope one day, a man does that for me.
I had a guy do a lot for me once but because we were in college, we had a very limited budget. I was very grateful and happy that he did what he did for me. Unfortunately, he is the ONLY guy who has made me feel special.
Post-college? As an adult in the real world? I have never had a man cater to me, wine and dine me, or make me feel that I was the queen of his world. I have never felt special or even important to a man. At times, I look at my life and feel that maybe, just maybe, I will end up alone and eventually lonely. Sometimes, I feel that somehow, I'm not good enough for a man to want to shower his love and appreciation on me. That's only when I feel those pangs of loneliness. I KNOW I'm good enough, just hadn't found a man that knows that as well.
I look at my friends and some of my family and wonder...how is it so easy for them to find love? What is it about them that makes a man want to be with them? Propose to them? Marry them and want to spend the rest of his life with them?
I think I have really great qualities. I am extremely loyal, dedicated, passionate, caring, smart, and funny. I have a great personality. I am empathetic. I am a great mother. I am educated, motivated, and I have a huge heart. I am very loving. No, I'm not the best looking thing roaming the Earth but I am far from ugly. I've embraced things that I used to be self-conscious about. Yes, I have a big nose. Yes, my eyes are big...but they are bright and people can't stare at them too long because they feel that I am looking through them. And I might just be. ***insert evil laugh*** I have big lips. I never wear makeup. I dress for comfort, not for the runway. I am 5'9" and very...."curvy." Could I lose some weight? Certainly! But I'm still at a point in my life that my weight is something I can deal with and I'm fairly content with it.
With all that being said, I wonder...what is it that guys aren't seeing? They see the physical, they like it, we talk, they like it, they think I'm a quality woman....and that's it. No one wants to take it to the next level. Why is that? The world may never know.
All I have to say (yeah right) is that the man who chooses to be with me will be one lucky ass man. He will have gained a woman that believes in love despite of never having it. He will have gained a faithful woman that believes in catering to a man (with obvious boundaries, I'm no one's slave). He will have gained a life partner, someone that believes in roughing it out through thick and thin.
One day, my king will come. I just have to get rid of the wolves in sheep's clothing and the frogs hopping around as princes first. Until then, I'll just continue loving myself and my daughter and keeping my "happily ever after" potion bottled up hidden in the depths of my closet until the right guy comes along.
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