I wish I could take credit for this but I sadly cannot. This was in a forward I received in college...almost a decade ago. (Wow...that makes me sound VERY old......)
1. Ms. Gold-Digger
Advantages:
a. You have someone to manage your money.
b. She always look good.
c. She makes your homeboys jealous.
d. She makes you look good.
Disadvantages:
a. When you become broke, she'll be gone and take what you have left.
b. She makes sure she has a child by you to sue you for child support.
c. Once your homeboy comes up, she'll be on his arm the next day.
2. Ms. Freak (secret lover)
Advantages:
a. She knows all the right positions.
b. She'll try everything more than once.
c. You're never unsatisfied.
d. She'll do all the things your girl won't do.
e. She doesn't mind being your freak, as long as you're one, too.
Disadvantages:
a. Eventually, because she's a woman, she'll end up catching feelings.
b. She starts to act like she's your "main."
c. She messes around with your homeboy and act like you're in the wrong for telling her that she's a freak.
d. Eventually, she gets old. And you need a replacement.
3. Ms. Independent
Advantages:
a. You don't have to worry about buying her anything. She got it.
b. She's intelligent, sassy, confident, and determined.
c. She's great for conversation, especially business-related.
d. She keeps it real and has goals.
e. She knows how to please a man.
Disadvantages:
a. She will continuously let you know that she can handle it on her own.
b. She will eventually say "SCREW YOU" and get a dildo.
c. She will consider you another one of her play toys or goals.
4. Ms. Dymepiece
Advantages:
a. She's top of the line.
b. She stays looking like a fantasy.
c. She has the body of a goddess with the face to match.
d. She considers herself a "model."
e. Gets you on hard whenever you see her.
f. All the girls envy her but she doesn't care.
Disadvantages:
a. She's superficial. She cares only about her looks.
b. She honestly lacks confidence and will annoy you about the way she looks.
c. She's probably dumb as hell and if she's not, her personality is dry.
d. You have to constantly keep your game up because every dude is going to try to get at her.
5. Ms. Tomboy
Advantages:
a. She's cool and laidback.
b. She'll be willing to play rough with you.
c. Of course she loves sports!
d. Her body is athletically divine.
e. She's easy to talk to and fun to be around.
f. She's a diamond in the rough.
Disadvantages:
a. She'll remind you too much of your homeboys.
b. She might not want to change her appearance.
c. She might actually beat you in basketball, football, and track.
6. Ms. Ghetto
Advantages:
a. She's not afraid of any other woman or man. She will fight to keep you.
b. She's down for you. She'll be there to bail you out of jail.
c. She always stays fresh.
d. She can cook up a storm.
e. She can make the best out of a bad situation.
f. She keeps it real and keeps you satisfied.
Disadvantages:
a. She doesn't know how to act in public.
b. Your mama can't stand her.
c. You get into it with her every other second.
d. She's willing to fight another woman for looking at you or her PERIOD.
e. Her weave colors are distracting and her vocabulary is minimal.
7. Ms. Good Girl
Advantages:
a. She's always there for you.
b. She's intelligent, classy, kind, sweet, and cool.
c. Your mother loves her.
d. You can see yourself falling in love with her.
e. You are her first everything.
f. She makes you feel like a man.
Disadvantages:
a. She's either A or B: A--You're not going to get any until y'all are married or B--She said she's never done it, said she's never tried it, and she's sitting there LYING to you.
8. Ms. Main
Advantages:
a. She is the one your respect.
b. She probably may know about the others but might not care.
c. She has all the qualities you want in a woman.
d. You've been with her forever.
Disadvantages:
a. She starts getting very suspicious and calls you every moment.
b. She will devise a plan to catch you in the act and then kick your ass.
9. Ms. Psycho
Advantages:
a. She's fun and spontaneous.
b. She's down to earth.
c. She loves you unconditionally.
d. Everything about her is too good to be true. So everyone loves her.
e. She makes you feel loved.
Disadvantages:
a. Don't you break up with her. She will stalk your ass.
b. She keeps pictures of you everywhere and knows everything about you.
c. She can manipulate the hell out of you.
d. She will consider herself wifey even if she may just be that chick on the side.
e. Dealing with her can make your life a living hell.
10. Ms. I Have a Man
Advantages:
a. She may have a man but she'll mess with you anyway.
b. She looks good.
c. You have an intense night of passion with her.
Disadvantages:
a. She'll always come crying to you about the problems with her man.
b. She'll get you caught up and then leave you for her man anyway.
c. If you piss her off, she'll get her man to come beat your ass.
d. She'll unofficially make you her man once she gets pissed off at her real man.
11. Ms. Tease
Advantages:
a. She's tempting and a nice piece of eye candy.
b. She's intelligent, athletic, respectable, and SEXXXXXXXXY.
c. She knows how to turn you on without touching you.
d. Everything she does is just so sensual.
e. She can bring you to that point and make you wait to get it.
f. Every time you see her, you catch a mini orgasm.
g. Every man wants her because she's so mysterious and that makes you want to get her first.
Disadvantages:
a. No matter WHAT you think or do, you NEVER get it.
b. She probably has a long distance boyfriend somewhere that you will never know about.
c. She gets you hard and leaves you like that.
12. Ms. Right
Advantages:
a. She is not sexy, fine, or a dyme. She is beautiful and therefore encompasses all of these descriptions.
b. She is intelligent, sassy, funny, outgoing, determined, strong, and classy.
c. She can cook or at least order a meal that is just like your mother's.
d. Her personality is just as beautiful as her body.
e. She believes in God and follows His virtues.
f. She knows that what a relationship requires and gives her man an extra 10%.
g. She can please her man in any way. Mentally, spiritually, and sexually.
h. She makes you recognize your full potential as a man and completes you.
i. She's always there for you, no matter what your dreams are.
j. She's not afraid to tell you the truth and set you straight.
k. You can talk to her and confide in her. She's your best friend.
l. You love being around her more than your homeboys.
m. You can share your most intimate moments with her without sex.
n. You can have a bad argument with her and have the BEST mind-numbing and passionate love making fest ever.
o. She's always willing to find a way to work out your problems and will often take most of your shit. But she's also intelligent enough to leave.
p. She's nothing like any other woman you've met. She's your woman.
Disadvantages:
a. You've probably met her or had her in your life but got too consumed with all the other types that you let her go.
Ladies, which one are you?
Men, who is the one that you're giving your all to?
1. Ms. Gold-Digger
Advantages:
a. You have someone to manage your money.
b. She always look good.
c. She makes your homeboys jealous.
d. She makes you look good.
Disadvantages:
a. When you become broke, she'll be gone and take what you have left.
b. She makes sure she has a child by you to sue you for child support.
c. Once your homeboy comes up, she'll be on his arm the next day.
2. Ms. Freak (secret lover)
Advantages:
a. She knows all the right positions.
b. She'll try everything more than once.
c. You're never unsatisfied.
d. She'll do all the things your girl won't do.
e. She doesn't mind being your freak, as long as you're one, too.
Disadvantages:
a. Eventually, because she's a woman, she'll end up catching feelings.
b. She starts to act like she's your "main."
c. She messes around with your homeboy and act like you're in the wrong for telling her that she's a freak.
d. Eventually, she gets old. And you need a replacement.
3. Ms. Independent
Advantages:
a. You don't have to worry about buying her anything. She got it.
b. She's intelligent, sassy, confident, and determined.
c. She's great for conversation, especially business-related.
d. She keeps it real and has goals.
e. She knows how to please a man.
Disadvantages:
a. She will continuously let you know that she can handle it on her own.
b. She will eventually say "SCREW YOU" and get a dildo.
c. She will consider you another one of her play toys or goals.
4. Ms. Dymepiece
Advantages:
a. She's top of the line.
b. She stays looking like a fantasy.
c. She has the body of a goddess with the face to match.
d. She considers herself a "model."
e. Gets you on hard whenever you see her.
f. All the girls envy her but she doesn't care.
Disadvantages:
a. She's superficial. She cares only about her looks.
b. She honestly lacks confidence and will annoy you about the way she looks.
c. She's probably dumb as hell and if she's not, her personality is dry.
d. You have to constantly keep your game up because every dude is going to try to get at her.
5. Ms. Tomboy
Advantages:
a. She's cool and laidback.
b. She'll be willing to play rough with you.
c. Of course she loves sports!
d. Her body is athletically divine.
e. She's easy to talk to and fun to be around.
f. She's a diamond in the rough.
Disadvantages:
a. She'll remind you too much of your homeboys.
b. She might not want to change her appearance.
c. She might actually beat you in basketball, football, and track.
6. Ms. Ghetto
Advantages:
a. She's not afraid of any other woman or man. She will fight to keep you.
b. She's down for you. She'll be there to bail you out of jail.
c. She always stays fresh.
d. She can cook up a storm.
e. She can make the best out of a bad situation.
f. She keeps it real and keeps you satisfied.
Disadvantages:
a. She doesn't know how to act in public.
b. Your mama can't stand her.
c. You get into it with her every other second.
d. She's willing to fight another woman for looking at you or her PERIOD.
e. Her weave colors are distracting and her vocabulary is minimal.
7. Ms. Good Girl
Advantages:
a. She's always there for you.
b. She's intelligent, classy, kind, sweet, and cool.
c. Your mother loves her.
d. You can see yourself falling in love with her.
e. You are her first everything.
f. She makes you feel like a man.
Disadvantages:
a. She's either A or B: A--You're not going to get any until y'all are married or B--She said she's never done it, said she's never tried it, and she's sitting there LYING to you.
8. Ms. Main
Advantages:
a. She is the one your respect.
b. She probably may know about the others but might not care.
c. She has all the qualities you want in a woman.
d. You've been with her forever.
Disadvantages:
a. She starts getting very suspicious and calls you every moment.
b. She will devise a plan to catch you in the act and then kick your ass.
9. Ms. Psycho
Advantages:
a. She's fun and spontaneous.
b. She's down to earth.
c. She loves you unconditionally.
d. Everything about her is too good to be true. So everyone loves her.
e. She makes you feel loved.
Disadvantages:
a. Don't you break up with her. She will stalk your ass.
b. She keeps pictures of you everywhere and knows everything about you.
c. She can manipulate the hell out of you.
d. She will consider herself wifey even if she may just be that chick on the side.
e. Dealing with her can make your life a living hell.
10. Ms. I Have a Man
Advantages:
a. She may have a man but she'll mess with you anyway.
b. She looks good.
c. You have an intense night of passion with her.
Disadvantages:
a. She'll always come crying to you about the problems with her man.
b. She'll get you caught up and then leave you for her man anyway.
c. If you piss her off, she'll get her man to come beat your ass.
d. She'll unofficially make you her man once she gets pissed off at her real man.
11. Ms. Tease
Advantages:
a. She's tempting and a nice piece of eye candy.
b. She's intelligent, athletic, respectable, and SEXXXXXXXXY.
c. She knows how to turn you on without touching you.
d. Everything she does is just so sensual.
e. She can bring you to that point and make you wait to get it.
f. Every time you see her, you catch a mini orgasm.
g. Every man wants her because she's so mysterious and that makes you want to get her first.
Disadvantages:
a. No matter WHAT you think or do, you NEVER get it.
b. She probably has a long distance boyfriend somewhere that you will never know about.
c. She gets you hard and leaves you like that.
12. Ms. Right
Advantages:
a. She is not sexy, fine, or a dyme. She is beautiful and therefore encompasses all of these descriptions.
b. She is intelligent, sassy, funny, outgoing, determined, strong, and classy.
c. She can cook or at least order a meal that is just like your mother's.
d. Her personality is just as beautiful as her body.
e. She believes in God and follows His virtues.
f. She knows that what a relationship requires and gives her man an extra 10%.
g. She can please her man in any way. Mentally, spiritually, and sexually.
h. She makes you recognize your full potential as a man and completes you.
i. She's always there for you, no matter what your dreams are.
j. She's not afraid to tell you the truth and set you straight.
k. You can talk to her and confide in her. She's your best friend.
l. You love being around her more than your homeboys.
m. You can share your most intimate moments with her without sex.
n. You can have a bad argument with her and have the BEST mind-numbing and passionate love making fest ever.
o. She's always willing to find a way to work out your problems and will often take most of your shit. But she's also intelligent enough to leave.
p. She's nothing like any other woman you've met. She's your woman.
Disadvantages:
a. You've probably met her or had her in your life but got too consumed with all the other types that you let her go.
Ladies, which one are you?
Men, who is the one that you're giving your all to?
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