Facebook has taken over the world, hasn't it? There's even a phrase, "facebook official," which means nothing is "for real" unless it's posted on facebook. Facebook has wormed its way into our everyday lives and we're so engrossed in it that many of us (generally speaking) find it overtaking our REAL lives. But it's just Facebook, right?
What happens when people who you thought you had a solid relationship or an excellent history of friendship with UNFRIENDS you on Facebook? It's just Facebook, right? Or IS it?
If it's just Facebook, why do you get that certain pang in your gut? That feeling that tugs at your heart and befuddles your mind? You start wondering...questioning...what happened? Did I say something wrong? What did I do? Sometimes, people come into your life for reasons unknown but you build a bond but sometimes, like everything that is built, it just falls apart. Sometimes, you can't see the cracks in the foundation until it completely collapses.
I have been "victim" of the unfriend button. I'd go to a former Facebook friend's profile and see the "Add Friend" button. I think to myself, "Well...when did we stop being friends?" Sometimes, it doesn't bother me at all. I actually have quite an apathetic attitude about it. But then when it's someone that you held to high esteem, someone that you felt you could talk to about anything, someone that you trusted...it becomes unexpected...and it can be pretty shocking. Like whoa.
So. What to do? I evaluate the last few conversations.
So. How to move forward? I don't believe in kissing ass when I feel I'm not solely to blame. If they don't value the friendship, then I'll let it go. I'm not a fan of one-sided relationships. If I feel that I'm putting more into it than I'm getting out, eventually, I lose interest and don't care to continue it.
I feel that if you want to talk to someone, you would make an effort to communicate. That is for all parties, including myself. But to say, "Why did you cut off all communication with me?" when I don't recall doing such a thing and it was made clear someone else of more importance entered your life, is deflecting the issue onto someone else....ME....and I find it silly. I actually find that quite annoying when someone acts as if the only reason why you guys don't talk to each other is because you don't pick up the phone and call or send a text or get on the computer to email or Facebook. Doesn't communication take 2 people? Last time I checked, it did.
To the Unfriend Button: Thank you for complicating relationships! Thank you for allowing people to not be friends without ever having to speak to each other about it again! You've made it easy to just say, "SCREW YOU!" You blessing and curse! You double-edged sword! Thank you for allowing people to see where they stand when others are too coward to say anything otherwise!
Facebook...a fantasy world that has somehow ingrained itself into people's reality. Good job, Mark Z. You damn genius.
What happens when people who you thought you had a solid relationship or an excellent history of friendship with UNFRIENDS you on Facebook? It's just Facebook, right? Or IS it?
If it's just Facebook, why do you get that certain pang in your gut? That feeling that tugs at your heart and befuddles your mind? You start wondering...questioning...what happened? Did I say something wrong? What did I do? Sometimes, people come into your life for reasons unknown but you build a bond but sometimes, like everything that is built, it just falls apart. Sometimes, you can't see the cracks in the foundation until it completely collapses.
I have been "victim" of the unfriend button. I'd go to a former Facebook friend's profile and see the "Add Friend" button. I think to myself, "Well...when did we stop being friends?" Sometimes, it doesn't bother me at all. I actually have quite an apathetic attitude about it. But then when it's someone that you held to high esteem, someone that you felt you could talk to about anything, someone that you trusted...it becomes unexpected...and it can be pretty shocking. Like whoa.
So. What to do? I evaluate the last few conversations.
- They were seldom. Few and far between.
- Other people have entered into their lives, pushing me aside.
- Not keeping their word, when in the past, they always did.
- Seeming to be bothered anytime there WAS a conversation.
- Blaming me as the sole reason for the demise of our communication.
- Being unavailable (due to those "other people").
So. How to move forward? I don't believe in kissing ass when I feel I'm not solely to blame. If they don't value the friendship, then I'll let it go. I'm not a fan of one-sided relationships. If I feel that I'm putting more into it than I'm getting out, eventually, I lose interest and don't care to continue it.
I feel that if you want to talk to someone, you would make an effort to communicate. That is for all parties, including myself. But to say, "Why did you cut off all communication with me?" when I don't recall doing such a thing and it was made clear someone else of more importance entered your life, is deflecting the issue onto someone else....ME....and I find it silly. I actually find that quite annoying when someone acts as if the only reason why you guys don't talk to each other is because you don't pick up the phone and call or send a text or get on the computer to email or Facebook. Doesn't communication take 2 people? Last time I checked, it did.
To the Unfriend Button: Thank you for complicating relationships! Thank you for allowing people to not be friends without ever having to speak to each other about it again! You've made it easy to just say, "SCREW YOU!" You blessing and curse! You double-edged sword! Thank you for allowing people to see where they stand when others are too coward to say anything otherwise!
Facebook...a fantasy world that has somehow ingrained itself into people's reality. Good job, Mark Z. You damn genius.
I loved this! I go thru sooo many changes on facebook. I have unfriended people I don't hear from, people who talked shit about Obama...many many reasons. I will sub to your blog,girl!!
ReplyDelete